I built something and it only fell apart once

Ormond Beach Observer
Opinion

If I could make a list of impractical things I would buy if I had unlimited amounts of cash, it would read like this: hot tub hammock, oversized beanbag chair and a bunch of random things from IKEA.

Now I typically store lists of this nature under the file “Never Gonna Happen,” but after stumbling upon what looked like a super easy DIY project, I realized one of those wishes just might come true.

It probably could have been about two includes longer, but I'm basically a craftsman now (Photo by Emily Blackwood).

I’ve envied IKEA’s occasional table for quite some time, probably because I really like working from the comfort of my bed. It wasn’t super pricey, but by the time I finally moved into a place where the wheels of the table wouldn’t get stuck on carpet, they stopped making it. So when I found a how-to on Pinterest that required just a few planks of wood and no power tools, I decided it was the right time.

Confidently, I walked into The Home Depot with my list in hand, trying to act like I was one of those weekend DIY-ers that did stuff like this all the time. But after having to ask three employees what aisle the wood screws were in, it was apparent to all that I had nothing to be confident about.

In the midst of gathering my supplies, I enlisted the help of an employee named Abe, who couldn’t understand what exactly I was trying to do until I showed him a picture on my phone. He then gave me a few other things I didn’t know I needed, told me to skip the L-brackets that were on the list, and sent me on my way.

It wasn’t until a minute or so later that I realized he still had my phone in his hand. He hadn’t realized it either.

When I got home (with my phone) I immediately got to work spray painting the wood white — which to everyone rolling their eyes, I now know was a horrible idea. My inability to let anything dry all the way, plus the absurd amount of dirt and dog hair covering the floor of my garage, made for a very shoddy paint job, to say the least. But nonetheless, I kept going.

Lying on the floor, I began to attach the wood screws. With every tightening turn, I saw my vision coming together.

“Wow, this is really working,” I thought to myself — or said out loud to my Rottweiler.

I flipped over the table onto its newly installed wheels, pre- paring myself to feel even more amazed — when the whole thing fell apart. I guess I really did need those L-brackets, Abe.

Now, I know you’re thinking that after that disaster there was no way I could have emotionally recovered enough to do the whole thing over again. But I did. With no spray paint and plenty of L-brackets, I made occasional table No. 2.

And this time, it’s still standing.

We recently recognized the best DIY projects in Ormond Beach. Do you have any epic fails you’d be willing to share? Email [email protected].