It’s officially the time of year to buy a bunch of things that weirds my family out.
I have a general rule when I make unplanned stops at places like Ross, TJ Maxx or Michaels: no carts. I find that when I don’t have the physical strength and balance to hold it, I’m at least 50% less likely to buy it (or 50% more likely to enlist the help of those currently being victimized by my spending habits a.k.a. my roommates).
This rule almost came in handy Sunday afternoon, when I decided to swing by Michaels and check out their Halloween decorations which were currently advertised as 50% off (this is the most math I’ve ever used in a story, I swear). I was in a dangerous situation by barely clutching four different types of ceramic skull candle holders, when I spotted something I had to have: a life-sized skeleton.
Being a lone shopper that day, I had to make the adult decision to put back the candle holders in exchange for my new friend. I was still, however, holding onto a packet of stickers, a tall caged candle holder, skull candles and bat window clings. Hands literally full, I got creative in my carrying without breaking the golden rule, and threw the skeleton onto my back. I may have accidentally knocked over a row of styrofoam heads and kicked an angsty older lady in the stomach, but we made it out alive (uh, well sort of). And thanks to the cashier who was literally the only person in the store enjoying my mishaps, we had a name: Jerry
When we walked through the door, Jerry and I were greeted with a very confused “what” from my roommate, Jimbo, and a very obvious eye roll from my other roommate, Danielle.
“Why?” she questioned with the sincere concern she usually has with my purchases.
“Um, why not?” You’re gonna have to do better than that Danielle.
Jimbo was a little more enthusiastic about my vision for Jerry: I wanted him to not only to be an integral part of our Halloween decor, but also have a really cool outfit. He stopped supporting me when I suggested that we dress him up like each of our friends for their birthday parties.
“No Emily,” he said while buttoning up Jerry’s hand-me-down shirt. “Too weird.”
Donned in sunglasses and a classy button-up, Jerry now leans against the our piano and posed like he’s in the middle of a very heated debate. I love him, Jimbo tolerates him, Bear’s not a fan and Danielle shrieks a little every time she sees him.
The first-annual Ormond Beach Observer Pumpkin Carving Contest
Attention all amateur and professional pumpkin carvers (I’m assuming that’s a thing): send in photos of your personal pumpkin carving by Oct. 26 to be entered into the Ormond Beach Observer’s first-annual Pumpkin Carving Contest. The team (meaning Bear and I) will select the top three pumpkins to be featured in our Oct. 29th issue. Send all photo entries to [email protected]. I’m looking forward to seeing your work and stealing your ideas for my own front door decor.